5. Baby Parents can function on 5 hours of sleep or less
Actually this hasn't been as hard as I expected. I always thought sleep was overrated anyway.
4. Babies take a long time to feed
I would honestly say 50-75% of the time we spend with the baby is feeding. If he is so hungry, why does he eat so freaking slow?
3. Babies can get acne...and/or dry skin... either is completely normal
Sometimes I think our baby doctor is just trying to pacify us because whenever we notice something kind of weird about the baby she just tells us its completely normal. Example:
Parents: Every time we take our baby's diaper off he pees in our face...
Baby Doctor: Oh, yeah, that happens all the time. Babies go through a phase from 2-3 weeks old when they are diabolically smart and evil.
2. Babies are diabolically smart and evil
He
is totally chill until we are sitting down to eat dinner, or watching a
video, or something else fun, then he starts crying. When you're
looking at him he acts like he doesn't even care you exist, but as soon
as you look at the TV he is at it again.
1. Your wife may take a dump during the delivery
Mine didn't. She doesn't do that. (See my post on the birth for the explanation).